Yet Another Meme

I have a friend who is always posting these. I am addicted.

1. My uncle once took me to One if by Land, Two if by Sea. I always laugh because I see it advertised as such a romantic restaurant.

2. Never in my life have I been so tired.

3. When I was five I was really smart.

4. High school was fun, for me.

5. I will never forget the day that Joseph was born.

6. Once I met Tanya Tucker.

7. There's this boy I know drives me insane.

8. Once, at a bar, I almost got into a fight with some Jersey Hair Girl.

9. By noon, I've doubted my sanity for the one hundreth time that day.

10. Last night I smoked three cigarettes.

11. If only I had an entirely different life.

12. Next time I go to church will be this Saturday.

13. What worries me most is how things are going to end up for my kids.

14. When I turn my head left I see a highchair, a filing cabinet, and a window.

15. When I turn my head right I see the fridge, vacuum, basically the whole kitchen.

16. You know I'm lying when I say I'm doing okay.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is high school.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I'd be... crazy-ass Ophelia, probably.

19. By this time next year I'd like to be thinner, happier, and saner.

20. A better name for me would be Complainy McWhinesalot

21. I have a hard time understanding my son, a lot of the time.

22. If I ever go back to school, I won't, but I'd like to have been a nurse.

23. You know I like you if I seem to like you. I'm not too subtle.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be my husband.

25. Take my advice, never worry about being pregnant. Worry about that baby and prepare for that.

26. My ideal breakfast is a leisurely one, at one of two places I used to go with my husband before we had THE CHILDREN.

27. A song I love but do not have is ... a song I love? I love Beautiful Day by U2

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you go to the sweet, sweet Mall.

29. Why won't people stop oversimplifying people in both political parties?

30. If you spend a night at my house you have to sleep in our livingroom. But we did just get a new sleepover couch!

31. I'd stop my wedding for nothing.

32. The world could do without Howard Stern. IMO.

33. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than diet.

34. My favorite blondie is my sweet baby girl and boy.

35. Paper clips are used often in my house, to unlock the doors.

36. If I do anything well it's be funny. Talk.

37. I can't help but judge the hell out of myself.

38. I usually cry at intervals of five minutes, here lately.

39. My advice to my nephew/niece is: try and do better in school, try and be a child when you are a child, try and listen to those who love you and want the best for you.

40. And by the way, I should get back to the boy.