So I called a new doctor's office today. I am only about six weeks pregnant but I figured I should. I had a baby, then a miscarriage, then a baby, so I don't know if they will want to see me early like they did when I was pregnant with Kathleen but I figure I better check. When I had the miscarriage, after Joseph, I was trying to go with a new doctor. My first appointment was the day after I had the miscarriage and they were so awful - even though I said I suspected I had a miscarriage (and I wasn't entirely sure plus I was hopeful, which seems dumb now) they still made me go over the billing and the freaking delivery options. Then I HATED the doctor and she made me wait like six weeks to have a D&C, it was really an awful experience and when I got pregnant with Kathleen, I ran back to my old doctor. I'm sure I thought I could avoid having another miscarriage by just going back to where I had a healthy pregnancy.
But the thing is, I hate the hospital. I hate the practice, I have to wait SOOOOO long for appointments and now, with Kathleen, this will be even harder. I had several ultrasounds with Kathleen and I had to wait like an hour for each of them. I am trying to avoid it. Also I want to go to a nicer hospital - I don't need to go to the freaking Ritz or anything but I just want to go somewhere that's a little ... cheerier. And where the rooms are a teensy bit bigger so I don't feel like when it's Todd and me and a teensy little baby that it's suffocating.
SO. I looked on my insurance for a female doctor who delivers at this nice hospital which is not close to me, necessarily, but I figure if I don't have to wait an hour for every appointment, I'll be saving time. I called today and the girl wasn't that nice. I live in the midwest, even though I am not from here, and I am forever waiting for some of this hospitality I hear so much about. The girl was kind of cold. She said the doctor's nurse will call me back to schedule an appointment and I am hoping the nurse is nicer. I mean, I don't expect anyone to say "Congratulations! Pregnant!? What a novel and amazing thing this is, here at the OB/GYN's office!" but, like, I said I needed an appointment and she said the doctor was scheduling for December. I said oh, well I'm pregnant so I don't think that would work. She said Oh, well that's different, if you're pregnant. I said sorry I didn't mention it, I can barely get my head around it myself. And she said nothing. Which is awkward. But whatever, I am just hoping the nurse is nicer and if she's not maybe the DOCTOR will be nicer.
Todd and I talked this morning about what we were nervous about. I said I was nervous about the health of the baby. I am nervous that I will have another autistic baby. Or that I will have a Down's baby. Or, you know, anything. Todd said he's been nervous about where we'll PUT the baby! I wish that was my worry. Because I already know, I am going to put the baby in the closet. We have a big walk in closet and a portable crib and I am going to get a nicer mattress for it and then put that baby in there. Kathleen will only be 17 months old so she won't be ready for a bed, I don't think, so into the closet for our Number Three.
I'm also nervous that the doctor is going to really push these damned tests on me. I don't like to get them - they're so slanted negative for someone my age, I just don't want to be put in a position where they want me to have an amnio. I'd rather not, so I like to just skip it altogether and in the past I have had some opposition from well meaning doctors on this. So I hope this doctor's not like this. But who knows? Can I be not too picky because of my advanced age? I was actually afraid that the scheduling lady was going to say "sorry, you're too old" when I said my birth date. I have a friend who could *not* find a doctor to take her because she was high risk. I hope this isn't the case with me, I'll have to go right back to my first doctor and the waiting.
But we are getting so excited! Baby Names! And I kiss Kathleen's head and I think ohhhhh. I'll have a whole nother head to kiss in just eight months.