I have never been so glad to have a secret apartment in my life.
I am pregnant. I cannot believe it. We are Natural Family Planners but we are also Really Dumb. I mean, I have only had one period since I had Kathleen, and so we started filling out my chart and taking my temperature and everything. BUT it doesn't matter, really, when you're nursing - or when I'm nursing, anyway. It was day 20 which seems late right? But like a day or two after (and this is probably TMI but I just keep going over and over it in my mind) I thought 'hmmm, that seems like .. mucus. Hmmm. Should there be mucus? At this late stage?' Apparently not.
So we are freaking out, I mean, we are happy, it is always a happy thing for us but WOW. Joseph is autistic, Kathleen is 8 months old, we only have three bedrooms and there is no way Joseph can share one. I mean, maybe he will be able to? If he gets a little better? For now, we are planning on getting a new car in the next 8 months, and setting up our portable crib in our walk in closet and moving the clothes there... somewhere. Oh Lord, Lord, what the hell is going to happen to us?
BUT. Even freaking out? I feel so happy, in a way. I smell Kathleen's head when I pick her up from a nap and I think oh wow, another one. I could maybe do it again.
I am now praying that everything is okay. I am high risk because I am FREAKING FORTY years old, I had GD with Kathleen, and I am crazy. I am hoping to get a new doctor this time but will anyone even take me? And old thing like myself? Ooh I'm excited and nervous and scared. Can I keep nursing for the next three months? Kathleen will not take a bottle and she's not great with a cup, yet. Does anyone know about nursing while pregnant? Pregnant. Pregnant.