One Week Down

...thousands of weeks to go. :) But it didn't go that bad. Yesterday I ate whatever I wanted, which wasn't too crazy. I had some cookies that had been here, haunting me, and I had a hamburger on a bun and dessert(s). But I also started working out yesterday. I had not worked out all week, I was trying to just concentrate on the diet part of it and also? I am SO TIRED. This baby of mine will not SLEEP. Now I think maybe she's getting teeth? And is also, ahem, kind of jammed up? So I am feeding her prunes and trying to give her some water and in general hoping for the best. We thought maybe it was teeth so I gave her Ty Ty (as we refer to it around here) last night and the night before but now I think maybe it's just her stomach and the solids. Ugh. Babies are gross!

ANYWAY. So I worked out again today and am not having bread and am not having sweets. This naturally makes me have more greens and veg and just make better choices. So far, so good. I am dreaming of ice cream but I had some yesterday and it was just okay. Do you know how that is? When you give something up and then you have it and you think really? I went all crazy over this? I find this to be true with food, cigarettes, alcohol and bad boyfriends.

Now I am just hoping I can keep on doing it, keep on behaving food wise and working out. And then, maybe someday this child of mine will sleep better and I will feel good and it will be a pay off.

Ha - Todd is funny. Monday was the start of my diet and Monday night I said "I don' t look any thinner!" to him. He said maybe it takes a while? Then Tuesday morning I walked in the bedroom from Kathleen's room and he said "I think you look a little thinner this morning". Sweet.

Diet

Ugh. I am starting a diet tomorrow. It is a diet and not a lifestyle change, although it involves lifestyle changes. I have these friends that are doing South/Beach and I thought maybe I would do that once I'm done nursing. But then I was talking to Todd about it and he said maybe we could just stop eating so much sweets and carbs? Because he is logical like that.

The thing is, I feel awful. I feel kind of depressed and unmotivated. I don't hardly have any clothes to wear. The same exact thing that happened to me after I had Joseph is happening to me now. After I had Joseph, I lost the weight that I gained while pregnant like right away. So fast, like within weeks. I attributed it to never eating, because I preferred to sleep rather than eat and I literally didn't have enough time to do both. Now, after Kathleen, I lost all my weight right away and because I had had the GD while pregnant, I hadn't even gained any weight from like 28 weeks on so it all just went away. But man did I start to eat after I had her! Ice cream and bread and butter and ice cream and...wait for it...ice cream!

A few months ago I started to work out again, every day. But I couldn't fix the eating thing. I would be good all day and then Todd would say how about a blizzard? and I'd say SURE. I NEVER say no to ice cream. ICE CREAM.

But I am going to start. Tomorrow I am starting to go easy on carbs. I am not going to eat ice cream, except for possibly one day a week. I haven't decided if I should do that or not. I am not going to eat after 7:30. I am (probably) not going to have any alcohol. That last one isn't a big deal, I hardly ever drink anymore anyway, I'm so damned tired.

But man. Could I just watch what I eat and feel better in like a week? Could I not be so tired and crash-y from the sugar? Because I really do get vicious and mad for no reason and I think it might be a sugar crash? It FEELS like a crash. I am going to try it and see how it goes, just try it for a week and see if I feel better. And then maybe I could start to wear all my clothes again, too, as a bonus?

I will keep you posted.

Another Meme

Things are crazy around here lately. Joseph has started at his developmental preschool and it has gone better than we could have ever dreamed, so far. Kathleen is six months old and isn't sleeping that great and I am so tired. And I'm really tired of people telling me to give her formula, or cereal, or ground beef, or whatever the hell worked for them. GOD. So here's a meme I got tagged with, so as not to focus on the negative.

Three Things......

THAT SCARE ME: not knowing the future, sickness for my kids or my husband, gaining a lot of weight

I LOVE: these children of mine, my husband, my family

I HATE: being tired, feeling out of control, idiots

I'M DOING RIGHT NOW: updating my blog, waiting for Cha/Cha queries, relaxing while K naps

I CAN DO: calm my fretting children, walk or run good distances, remember everything anyone has ever said to me

I CAN'T DO: stop eating ice cream, think before I speak, sleep easily

THAT ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS: ice cream, burgers, fries

SHOWS I WATCHED WHEN I WAS A KID: Wonderama, Magic Garden, (these are dating me!), Happy Days