Sunday, May 18, 2008

Pregnancy and Why You Shouldn't Worry About It

I was reading this post today and thinking sheesh, lighten up already. When I was pregnant the first time, I felt very much this way - I felt like all I could focus on was the pregnancy, I was so worried and involved with the pregnancy, the pregnancy, the pregnancy. It was so stupid! I used to actually say out loud that I never worried about the actual baby, I never thought past the delivery. Then my son was born and was a colicky mess and I was completely ill prepared. I was prepared, however, to deliver like 10 more kids. But you just have the one delivery per baby and it takes however long it takes but the BABY? Stays in your house! Day after day! And you should listen to people who have gone before you, and take what you can use of their advice. It's hard - women who have kids already (and I am one of them) DO have lots of advice for women who are pregnant. But I think maybe it's because we want to help, we want to be part of a Village right? The one that it takes? I hope so. I can feel it when someone is trying to help me and when someone is trying to foist their beliefs on me. I think mostly women are sticking together and helping one another through this crazy-ass journey that we are all on. Very few women are involved in this Mommy War bullshit, as far as I'm concerned. So lighten up, pregnant woman, and start asking moms who have gone before you what kind of freaking pillow they liked.


east side girl said...

I appreciate your post and certainly pregnancy hormones cause me to rage a bit more than I normally would...but the truth is, I was trying to rail against how "dire" all pregnant women and moms make very small and insignificant things sound.
And there are some days when I worry about the little things, too. But given all of the trouble I've had with this pregnancy thus far, my biggest worry is trying to carry this baby to term. So yes, when you're stuck on bed rest and the docs have told you that you'll most likely deliver a premature baby, it really becomes all about "the pregnancy, the pregnancy, the pregnancy," whether you like it or not.

Sorry you missed the point. Come by my blog and read more often (or read the backstory) and maybe you'll gain a better understanding of where I'm coming from.

ConstanceTheNinth said...

I don't think I missed the point, really. I still don't think there's any point in worrying about what you can't control. But I might be wrong, and railing, and I'm sorry, my son was just found to be on the autism spectrum and my husband and I are reeling about that, as well as trying to take care of our four month old daughter, and I am wishing that I never worried about the complications that I had when I was pregnant. Because no matter what, my pregnancy came to an end and I just wish I had some of the energy that I wasted worrying about something I can't control to use for something I can. I have been reading your blog for a long time, and I am wishing the best for you and your family.

omnia_vincit_amor said...

I'm sure it's hard to see the irrationality when you're inside it-- lord knows it is for me, no matter what I'm going through.

I think you make a good point, Ct9, about worrying more about the baby and the resulting care of the child-- parenting is worth a lot more worry than the pregnancy. Either you carry to term or you don't, and sometimes no matter what you do, you miscarry. And some women, no matter how many beers they have or cigarettes they smoke, they deliver just fine.

The pregnancy is tiny and uncontrollable, ESG-- only you are responsible for the life of this child once it's born, and if you mess it up, only you are to blame. Worry more about that.

No disrespect intended-- just trying to second the wonderful rational thought Ct9 had.