- weight loss. Yawn. I know. I am always thinking about it. I have been working out well the last few weeks (largely because it comforts Lucy to move around so I put her in the carrier and workout. Then I've worked out AND I have a sleeping/non screaming baby). I cannot seem to stop eating ice cream. Because my life is so HARD, see? That's why I have to eat the ice cream! Waah! I have recently made some sugar free snacks and am hoping I can start to do better on the feeling sorry for myself ice cream thing. I have a lot of clothes in my old size and I want to wear them.
- Lucy. Colicky! Three kids, all fussy! The hell? I have also decided to stop worrying about WHY ME and just wait out the next four weeks or so. I am better at dealing with them now, I try to concentrate on that. She is gorgeous though and I feel sweet about her because I really think she will be my last.
- NFP. We are going to try to not have more kids. We have serious reasons for not wanting to - we have no room, Joseph's future is ... murky, I'm old, etc., etc. I got a book on postpartum NFP so hopefully I'll be able to figure it out.
- Todd. I think marriage is so weird. I love him more than anything and appreciate him so much, especially when I think of who some of my friends are married to. But my GOD do I get mad at him!
- Sleep. I haven't had any. Twice I've had four hours in a row. In nine weeks. Ugh.
- Help. I have someone coming in this week for the next few weeks, until Joseph starts school. I am going crazy alone, I hope it doesn't make me crazier to have someone here.
- My Mom. I had to tell her that she can't come over here anymore to 'help' me if she is just going to question everything I do with my kids. It went ... okay. She is still tempted, I can tell, but it's better.
- Resentment. I resent having to mother my kids AND my mother AND my husband.
- My MIL. Asked Todd if them coming to visit added to our stress. Ha ha ha! He said everything adds to our stress, it's just LIKE that in a house with a newborn and also maybe she could give us a little more notice when she comes to visit. She loves to call on Saturday and say "should I come up today or tomorrow?" It's very annoying. So he told her, and I told HIM, I would have added, maybe don't bring sodas from whatever fast food place you stopped on the way up without offering to get us some thing? Or maybe EVER bring anything, even ONE TIME, to our house? Or maybe HELP us, sometime? Whatever, just some ideas I had. You dope.
- I guess that's it. Lucy is coming up on 10 weeks and I am hopeful things calm the hell down.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Random
Some things I have been thinking about:
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Home
I'm home with my new girl, Lucy. She is adorable. ZOMG. A-dorable. We had a SCARE because her lungs were all FULL and she wasn't getting enough OXYGEN SATURATION or something but she is fine now, thank God. She was in the nursery and out of my arms for the first 24 hours of her life, which was hard but I was happy that she was getting the care she needed and also it is the most rest I've gotten in years. The nurses in the constant care nursery where she was were angels and amazing and also? She was the biggest baby in there so Todd and I felt guilty and conspicuous.
But we came home today and despite some misunderstandings with my MIL about how many people we wanted greeting us when we came home, all is well. It was the first time I was away from Kathleen and I've been away from Joseph but the older it gets the harder it gets because he doesn't understand, really, where I am or when I'm coming back so he just gets sadder and sadder every time Todd comes home without me. I had to not think about it too much in the hospital. Of course, all is forgiven now and we are back to normal, practically - the new normal, that is. I'm sure she's going to be up all night - she has slept SO much today, but what can you do? Todd is home for a few weeks and I am going to try to enjoy it, or appreciate it, or something.
Despite not being with me for the first day, she is breastfeeding well and I am so grateful that I am almost enjoying it. She is teeny, one pound lighter than the other two, which doesn't seem like much but it is. She is also stirring so I better run but I wanted to record it. We're home withTHREE kids now and ... I'm scared but also hopeful. I have to get good at this sometime right? Please? :)
But we came home today and despite some misunderstandings with my MIL about how many people we wanted greeting us when we came home, all is well. It was the first time I was away from Kathleen and I've been away from Joseph but the older it gets the harder it gets because he doesn't understand, really, where I am or when I'm coming back so he just gets sadder and sadder every time Todd comes home without me. I had to not think about it too much in the hospital. Of course, all is forgiven now and we are back to normal, practically - the new normal, that is. I'm sure she's going to be up all night - she has slept SO much today, but what can you do? Todd is home for a few weeks and I am going to try to enjoy it, or appreciate it, or something.
Despite not being with me for the first day, she is breastfeeding well and I am so grateful that I am almost enjoying it. She is teeny, one pound lighter than the other two, which doesn't seem like much but it is. She is also stirring so I better run but I wanted to record it. We're home withTHREE kids now and ... I'm scared but also hopeful. I have to get good at this sometime right? Please? :)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Days Away
So we are days away from meeting our third baby. Some observations about this pregnancy:
- I cannot get over how many people have asked me or Todd if we are having more kids. Like, I'll run into someone that I haven't seen for a while and we'll be talking about them, or me, or catching up. They might say "when are you due?" and I'll say "May" and they'll say "are you guys having more?" It always takes me aback, - I mean - it always surprises me when people ask me, but ESPECIALLY when I am hugely pregnant! I want to say, well we can't have sex for six weeks after, so not ... RIGHT away. Sheesh. Last night Todd went to pick up carryout for dinner (I can't cook when I am this large - ugh) and he mentioned to the bartender that once his super pregnant was up and about we'd have to come in to try this beer that they had. Some other guy was at the bar, and asked Todd if this was our first and he said no, our third...under three. The guy told Todd, "you need to get SNIPPED". A stranger! In a bar! Are you EFFING kidding me?
- I feel bigger than ever this time, but my doctor says she thinks this will be my smallest baby yet. We'll see. I think maybe I just feel so big because I keep forgetting what the end is like. You're at the END for such a short period of time, maybe it's just not what stays with me? I keep losing weight, or staying the same, ever since I've been like 30 weeks or something. This is from the diabetes diet, I guess, although this week I just don't feel like eating much.
- Joseph and Kathleen are losing their damned minds - neither of them really understand what is happening, but both of them know something is up. This will be my first time away from Kathleen overnight and it will be for THREE overnights! I am nervous but trying not to project it on her. My parents are staying here and then my MIL (and many, many others, I'm sure) are going to come up and stay one night.
- I wish I could go one day early. If I did, just my parents would have to stay and not my MIL. I don't really mind her coming up and staying, of course, I mean, I appreciate it but I hate the thought of the big damned parade through my house while I'm not here. I know I am a control freak and a weirdo.
- The other day I mentioned on FB that I was going to think about all the things I had to do this week and all these people commented that I should just LIE DOWN! I was having a BABY, what else was there to do? I have no idea what people think about my life but man. I have to do the laundry, the diapers, change the sheets on the bed that my parents will be sleeping on, right? These are things that won't keep. People are crazy!
- At first, when I first learned I was pregnant, I was so worried about this baby. I was worried it would be a boy and if it was a boy he would be autistic, like Joseph. I was worried that Joseph and Kathleen would be all freaked out when I stay away for three nights and then bring home some BABY. Worry worry worry. Now I am so eager to meet this baby, who I have seen more in ultrasound than any other baby (it seems like they all do 4D now), I don't care! I don't care if he's a he or a she or has three arms! I am so hopeful and optimistic and I just can't wait. I know I'm really crazy, because I am even looking forward to breastfeeding, which I mostly hate. I feel ... joyous? Drunk with possibility? It's a good feeling, even if it will be dashed - for now, I'm just living it.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Mommie Dearest
Oh, my mother. I could go on and on. And I will! :) Our relationship has really shifted, as has everything else in my damned life, in the last five years since I got married and started having kids. Also, our relationship has gotten kind of weird in the last two years or so, since she and my Dad started going to Florida for half of the year. They are SO WEIRD about it. They are almost 70, and maybe this happens to everyone's parents but man. My Dad has always been a quiet person and my mom the gregarious one. NOW, in Florida, my Dad is like this crazy ass golfer, who plays with strangers and goes for walks with his best friend, this guy he used to work with. It's bizarre. My mom is busy busy busy, too, she takes swim classes and plays mahjong and - ugh - it's endless. She, like, never calls me, rather she emails me this BULLSHIT political claptrap and chicken soup for the soul and just - ugh - those cannot count as correspondence!
When she is in town, we talk quite a bit. I will never EVER forget how she used to come over when Joseph was a baby and would scream for hours and hours and hours. I would just call at like 11:00 at night or something and not even say anything and she'd say "Hello? I'll be right there". And she'd show up ten minutes later and take that baby and hold him and let me sleep. One night she sat in a chair holding him from 11:30 til 5:00 the next morning, it was the most sleep I had gotten in months. I will never forget it or be able to repay her for it.
BUT she still drives me mad! She has always been a kook, way too involved in my life, way too opinionated about everything, never having any respect for my decisions, etc. But now that she is a Floridian, it seems like she doesn't care at all about me or what happens and it's so much harder to take than her being overinvolved. I had no idea it would feel like this, but it's very hurtful.
When she is home, she watches the kids whenever I want, at least one night a week and it is beyond helpful. BUT she is always late. ALWAYS. She used to come over to 'help' in the afternoons, and more than half the time, she'd fall asleep on the couch. This is not helpful!
Ugh. Her mom died when she was young and my sister and I have discussed the fact that our mom seems to not know how to be a mom to adult daughters. Also, she and my Dad seem to have this "we raised our kids, now we just want to bask in the sun and be left alone" attitude, which is FINE, I mean, I agree, they did work hard and they were excellent parents and I am glad they can enjoy their retirement but man. I feel like I get the short end of the stick because I had kids later than my brothers.
Also? She leaves ridiculous messages on my voice mail, when she calls. I call her all the time and her cell phone is turned off - because she is charging it. I have told her endless times, she does NOT have to turn off her phone to charge it, but my Dad has told her that she has to (not that he knows anything) and so she does. She'll leave it off all day or until I track her down on my Dad's phone or something. Then she'll call me, at dinner time or bed time or some time when everyone in my world knows is not a good time to call and she'll leave just this on the message, in a VERY strident tone:
"TRYING TO REACH YOU AGAIN! I GUESS I'LL TRY AGAIN LATER. SIGH. SIGH".
And I think who would answer that message? You can't even use a full sentence on your message? STOP calling me at bedtime! Grrr.
We have had major issues about Joseph and the fact that he is autistic. My mom is a sucker and wants to get in to all these REASONS that he could be autistic. She thinks VACCINES are the cause and that JENNY MCCARTHY is a DOCTOR or something. Ugh. She sends me one million links from World Net Daily, with this NONSENSE about how (and I am not kidding) soy milk can make young boys gay. I mean - really? What am I supposed to do with that information? Every link she sends takes me to some website that has like 100 fonts with blinking text and all this nonsense.
So. Clearly I have major issues with my Mommy but she is coming back soon and I can't wait. I always have high hopes that we won't argue about things, that it will all go well, and then it all falls apart about 20 minutes into every visit. You could almost set your watch by it.
When she is in town, we talk quite a bit. I will never EVER forget how she used to come over when Joseph was a baby and would scream for hours and hours and hours. I would just call at like 11:00 at night or something and not even say anything and she'd say "Hello? I'll be right there". And she'd show up ten minutes later and take that baby and hold him and let me sleep. One night she sat in a chair holding him from 11:30 til 5:00 the next morning, it was the most sleep I had gotten in months. I will never forget it or be able to repay her for it.
BUT she still drives me mad! She has always been a kook, way too involved in my life, way too opinionated about everything, never having any respect for my decisions, etc. But now that she is a Floridian, it seems like she doesn't care at all about me or what happens and it's so much harder to take than her being overinvolved. I had no idea it would feel like this, but it's very hurtful.
When she is home, she watches the kids whenever I want, at least one night a week and it is beyond helpful. BUT she is always late. ALWAYS. She used to come over to 'help' in the afternoons, and more than half the time, she'd fall asleep on the couch. This is not helpful!
Ugh. Her mom died when she was young and my sister and I have discussed the fact that our mom seems to not know how to be a mom to adult daughters. Also, she and my Dad seem to have this "we raised our kids, now we just want to bask in the sun and be left alone" attitude, which is FINE, I mean, I agree, they did work hard and they were excellent parents and I am glad they can enjoy their retirement but man. I feel like I get the short end of the stick because I had kids later than my brothers.
Also? She leaves ridiculous messages on my voice mail, when she calls. I call her all the time and her cell phone is turned off - because she is charging it. I have told her endless times, she does NOT have to turn off her phone to charge it, but my Dad has told her that she has to (not that he knows anything) and so she does. She'll leave it off all day or until I track her down on my Dad's phone or something. Then she'll call me, at dinner time or bed time or some time when everyone in my world knows is not a good time to call and she'll leave just this on the message, in a VERY strident tone:
"TRYING TO REACH YOU AGAIN! I GUESS I'LL TRY AGAIN LATER. SIGH. SIGH".
And I think who would answer that message? You can't even use a full sentence on your message? STOP calling me at bedtime! Grrr.
We have had major issues about Joseph and the fact that he is autistic. My mom is a sucker and wants to get in to all these REASONS that he could be autistic. She thinks VACCINES are the cause and that JENNY MCCARTHY is a DOCTOR or something. Ugh. She sends me one million links from World Net Daily, with this NONSENSE about how (and I am not kidding) soy milk can make young boys gay. I mean - really? What am I supposed to do with that information? Every link she sends takes me to some website that has like 100 fonts with blinking text and all this nonsense.
So. Clearly I have major issues with my Mommy but she is coming back soon and I can't wait. I always have high hopes that we won't argue about things, that it will all go well, and then it all falls apart about 20 minutes into every visit. You could almost set your watch by it.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
On Husbands
God I am so mad lately at my husband. Ninety five percent of the time, he is FINE, he is more than fine, he is PERFECT. He is unselfish and patient, with both me and the kids, he does way more than his fair share around here, he is perfect. But the things that make up the other five percent of him seem to make me the craziest when I am pregnant or crazy, or both. Like now.
I am having a hard time of it here lately, I admit it. Last night he shut the door on my foot, which he is sort of likely to do - he is kind of unaware of the people around him and can be clumsy. I didn't care, really, but then he didn't say one thing! Not I'm sorry, or piss off, or get your big foot out of the way, NOTHING. So I said hey, you shut the door on my foot and he said I'm sorry that I closed the door behind you. Isn't that weird? Not to just say "I'm sorry". I'm sorry that I closed the door behind you? What the hell is that?
Then this morning I am upset. I slept badly, largely because of that effed up apology last night, and also because I can't sleep on my back, side, side, or belly, and I am grumpy this morning. I am TRYING to get over it but I do not look forward to any day here lately - Kathleen is very grumpy and has to go down for her first, teensy, short nap by like 8:30, leaving me no time to do anything except get dressed, Joseph is crazier than ever, I'm tired and short tempered, etc. I said how I was going to have to reschedule my next OB appointment, because of Todd's work schedule, I would have to take the kids with me and I just can't. They are just not the kind of kids I can take to a doctor's appoitntment. I don't have any babysitter options, it's the middle of the day, etc., etc. Todd asked me if there was a way that I could make it for Friday of that week, because he was planning on taking that day off anyway.
Now. I asked him about this yesterday, I said that I made the appointment for a time that I couldn't go and I was concerned about it. He told me that he was unable to leave work that day. Did he mention that he PLANNED to take off a whole day that week? No! Why, I asked him, do you squirrel away information like that? That is the week of Joseph's school break so I am already miserable about it, it would mean a lot to me if he could be home with me. WHY wouldn't you tell me that? He said he just thought of it. I said you just now, just this morning, thought of it? Well no, he said, he thought of it yesterday but then he forgot to tell me.
How I hate people who think "I forgot" means that that automatically makes it okay, somehow. To me, "I forgot" is just shorthand for "I don't care enough to tell you". I forgot? Do I forget to change the kids diapers? To feed them? To go get them when they are crying? I FORGOT? What does that mean?
Then he got very UPSET. He got sort of very sad and emotional. I can't help but think on some level that this is manipulative. He does it a lot - if I have a sore back, he has a sore back AND NECK. If I get a cold, he gets a cold and a VERY SORE THROAT. If I'm tired, he's EXHAUSTED. GOD. I can't believe that I am having my third baby here soon and also taking care of this 40 year old baby, too.
I am hoping this is just pregnancy madness. The bad thing about pregnancy madness, for me, is that it feels really real.
I am having a hard time of it here lately, I admit it. Last night he shut the door on my foot, which he is sort of likely to do - he is kind of unaware of the people around him and can be clumsy. I didn't care, really, but then he didn't say one thing! Not I'm sorry, or piss off, or get your big foot out of the way, NOTHING. So I said hey, you shut the door on my foot and he said I'm sorry that I closed the door behind you. Isn't that weird? Not to just say "I'm sorry". I'm sorry that I closed the door behind you? What the hell is that?
Then this morning I am upset. I slept badly, largely because of that effed up apology last night, and also because I can't sleep on my back, side, side, or belly, and I am grumpy this morning. I am TRYING to get over it but I do not look forward to any day here lately - Kathleen is very grumpy and has to go down for her first, teensy, short nap by like 8:30, leaving me no time to do anything except get dressed, Joseph is crazier than ever, I'm tired and short tempered, etc. I said how I was going to have to reschedule my next OB appointment, because of Todd's work schedule, I would have to take the kids with me and I just can't. They are just not the kind of kids I can take to a doctor's appoitntment. I don't have any babysitter options, it's the middle of the day, etc., etc. Todd asked me if there was a way that I could make it for Friday of that week, because he was planning on taking that day off anyway.
Now. I asked him about this yesterday, I said that I made the appointment for a time that I couldn't go and I was concerned about it. He told me that he was unable to leave work that day. Did he mention that he PLANNED to take off a whole day that week? No! Why, I asked him, do you squirrel away information like that? That is the week of Joseph's school break so I am already miserable about it, it would mean a lot to me if he could be home with me. WHY wouldn't you tell me that? He said he just thought of it. I said you just now, just this morning, thought of it? Well no, he said, he thought of it yesterday but then he forgot to tell me.
How I hate people who think "I forgot" means that that automatically makes it okay, somehow. To me, "I forgot" is just shorthand for "I don't care enough to tell you". I forgot? Do I forget to change the kids diapers? To feed them? To go get them when they are crying? I FORGOT? What does that mean?
Then he got very UPSET. He got sort of very sad and emotional. I can't help but think on some level that this is manipulative. He does it a lot - if I have a sore back, he has a sore back AND NECK. If I get a cold, he gets a cold and a VERY SORE THROAT. If I'm tired, he's EXHAUSTED. GOD. I can't believe that I am having my third baby here soon and also taking care of this 40 year old baby, too.
I am hoping this is just pregnancy madness. The bad thing about pregnancy madness, for me, is that it feels really real.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Hot Button Issues
Is this a theme? C1 talked about her hot button issues and I commented but I thought I'd write about mine here, why not.
I get very annoyed by many, many things, and I am trying to be better about it. Last night I had to go to the drugstore because I needed soda and just ... crap and it was Sunday night and I figured the drugstore would be my best bet. We live in the city so there is not a Target or good grocery store right nearby. It was kind of horrible at the drugstore, it was packed and they didn't have a lot of the things I wanted. I have the gestational diabetes again with this baby - or I should say I was very very borderline on the one hour test and I opted not to take the three hour - I don't see the point of going in and wasting three hours when I could just test at home and eat right and exercise. The nurse at my ob's office seemed sort of shocked about this but seriously? I do not have three hours and it's not like I'm going to be doing anything I shouldn't be doing anyway, eschewing dessert and white food and being sure to exercise a bit every day. So anyway. I wanted sugar free antacids and they had none. I wanted diet and caffeine free soda and they had NONE. NONE. There were crazy people on line, talking and talking to me and carrying in food that they found on the street and running out of money, etc., etc. and I was just over it. I was telling Todd about it when I got home and he said well, they're not going to change, so maybe you should, to be happier. Which is good advice. Annoying but good.
SO. I'm trying not to get mad at people for things they can't control, or for things that *I* deem annoying but are not to everyone. I know I can be a bitch and I'm tired and stressed out most of the time so I have to take myself with a grain of salt.
BUT I have had it with my MIL. Yesterday she was going to come up and see the kids. She had called the previous Saturday for Sunday and we already had plans. So she asked if she could come over THIS Sunday and she called on Thursday to confirm. I think it shocked her to the core that we could have made plans and she couldn't just swoop in like normal. Anyway, she called Saturday night but didn't leave a message so Todd called her yesterday to be sure everything is okay and she wanted to know if she could bring our nephew, who was DYING to see the kids (ha ha, he never even looks at the kids, he just uses our computer or texts the whole time he's here and I don't blame him - he is 16). Anyway, he had a friend with him so could he bring him too? So Todd said no, this comes up EVERY TIME. We have kind of a small house, it's a row house and it's like basically two rooms downstairs. Joseph can be kind of strange with new people, including my MIL, who is new every time she comes. WHY would I want to put him in a situation where he's uncomfortable? Or, and this is probably an unfounded fear, but I don't know this teenage boy at all, what if he was to make fun of Joseph? Or find it amusing how Joseph self-stims? I just am not up to it. Also, if you want to come and see the kids, COME AND SEE THE KIDS. Every single time there is some sort of extra thing involved. This is why I am never having my MIL stay over anymore - every time she does, like if we wanted to stay out overnight, or do something late, or something, she brings EVERYONE she knows, it feels like. Last time her husband couldn't come because he was working on a Saturday, so he came up here at 7:30 Sunday morning. SEVEN THIRTY. No one seems to think it's weird but me.
Todd definitely tells her that she can't bring strangers to the house but he doesn't like to. Plus she knows it's me that's saying no, and yesterday she barely spoke to me. Sigh. I do not know what to do about it. Todd doesn't like to say no to people, he says, as if - I mean, who does? Who LIKES confrontation and making people unhappy? Nobody. I am just willing to do it for the greater good and he's not. Anyway. That is frustrating to me and, I think, at the core of my issue with people not recognizing that our life is different because Joseph has autism. It's not BAD, I'm not JUDGING it, but I just want to call a freaking spade a spade and say we have to consider what is going to happen a little more than someone with a typical child.
God I am really babbling here so I'll stop. Hot button indeed!
I get very annoyed by many, many things, and I am trying to be better about it. Last night I had to go to the drugstore because I needed soda and just ... crap and it was Sunday night and I figured the drugstore would be my best bet. We live in the city so there is not a Target or good grocery store right nearby. It was kind of horrible at the drugstore, it was packed and they didn't have a lot of the things I wanted. I have the gestational diabetes again with this baby - or I should say I was very very borderline on the one hour test and I opted not to take the three hour - I don't see the point of going in and wasting three hours when I could just test at home and eat right and exercise. The nurse at my ob's office seemed sort of shocked about this but seriously? I do not have three hours and it's not like I'm going to be doing anything I shouldn't be doing anyway, eschewing dessert and white food and being sure to exercise a bit every day. So anyway. I wanted sugar free antacids and they had none. I wanted diet and caffeine free soda and they had NONE. NONE. There were crazy people on line, talking and talking to me and carrying in food that they found on the street and running out of money, etc., etc. and I was just over it. I was telling Todd about it when I got home and he said well, they're not going to change, so maybe you should, to be happier. Which is good advice. Annoying but good.
SO. I'm trying not to get mad at people for things they can't control, or for things that *I* deem annoying but are not to everyone. I know I can be a bitch and I'm tired and stressed out most of the time so I have to take myself with a grain of salt.
BUT I have had it with my MIL. Yesterday she was going to come up and see the kids. She had called the previous Saturday for Sunday and we already had plans. So she asked if she could come over THIS Sunday and she called on Thursday to confirm. I think it shocked her to the core that we could have made plans and she couldn't just swoop in like normal. Anyway, she called Saturday night but didn't leave a message so Todd called her yesterday to be sure everything is okay and she wanted to know if she could bring our nephew, who was DYING to see the kids (ha ha, he never even looks at the kids, he just uses our computer or texts the whole time he's here and I don't blame him - he is 16). Anyway, he had a friend with him so could he bring him too? So Todd said no, this comes up EVERY TIME. We have kind of a small house, it's a row house and it's like basically two rooms downstairs. Joseph can be kind of strange with new people, including my MIL, who is new every time she comes. WHY would I want to put him in a situation where he's uncomfortable? Or, and this is probably an unfounded fear, but I don't know this teenage boy at all, what if he was to make fun of Joseph? Or find it amusing how Joseph self-stims? I just am not up to it. Also, if you want to come and see the kids, COME AND SEE THE KIDS. Every single time there is some sort of extra thing involved. This is why I am never having my MIL stay over anymore - every time she does, like if we wanted to stay out overnight, or do something late, or something, she brings EVERYONE she knows, it feels like. Last time her husband couldn't come because he was working on a Saturday, so he came up here at 7:30 Sunday morning. SEVEN THIRTY. No one seems to think it's weird but me.
Todd definitely tells her that she can't bring strangers to the house but he doesn't like to. Plus she knows it's me that's saying no, and yesterday she barely spoke to me. Sigh. I do not know what to do about it. Todd doesn't like to say no to people, he says, as if - I mean, who does? Who LIKES confrontation and making people unhappy? Nobody. I am just willing to do it for the greater good and he's not. Anyway. That is frustrating to me and, I think, at the core of my issue with people not recognizing that our life is different because Joseph has autism. It's not BAD, I'm not JUDGING it, but I just want to call a freaking spade a spade and say we have to consider what is going to happen a little more than someone with a typical child.
God I am really babbling here so I'll stop. Hot button indeed!
Friday, February 27, 2009
The internet
Sheesh. I am so mad at people on the internet all of a sudden. I was innocently looking at pamie dot com and here's this old cow again:
Now look - I really don't care what some allegedly funny lady in LA thinks about me as a stay at home mother. BUT I do care about what some dumbbell thinks about ALL women who stay at home to take care of their kids instead of working outside the home and sending them to daycare (or "school" as some of my friends call it, the place where they send their six month old. Whatever). I mean, what did we go to school for? Why do well in school? GOD. I have many things I would like to say to this asshole:
1.) I went to school and got a Bachelor's degree and then I worked for several years. I also worked while I went to school. THEN I got my Master's degree while working full time and then I worked for some more years. THEN I got married, after having worked full time, post college, for like 14 years! THEN I got pregnant and had a baby and my husband and I decided that the best CHOICE for our family would be for me to stay home and take care of the child(ren). My husband, who also has a graduate degree, made about twice what I did, so he got to keep going to work. I assume I'll work again. I think I'll work as long as my friend James, who is a police officer and is going to retire after 25 years.
2.) I consider it to be a HUGE sacrifice to stay home with my kids. It's not the kind of sacrifice where I tell them all day, every day, what kind of sacrifice I'm making, and how hard I'm working, and how AWESOME I am for doing it, but it's the kind of sacrifice where I feel like maybe someday it will be worth it for me to stay home with them. I consider it the right thing to do, for my family.
3). I always stayed home, and it's worked out well for me since I have a son with autism. I have several friends, though, who worked at first and then because their kids were diagnosed with autism, they had to leave their job and start staying home with their kids because they weren't able to stay in the daycare that their parents had chosen for them. Would you ask THEM why THEY went to school? Why they BOTHERED to do well in school if all they were going to do is stay home? You ASSHOLE?
4.) I wonder if this woman considers herself to be such a contributing member of society that she can talk to a whole bunch of women like they're idiots? Is she a writer? A comedy writer? A writer of a sitcom? She writes the funny words that actors say? And this is some kind of major contribution to our world, one that should be compared favorably to raising children? Taking care of other human beings?
5.) I truly feel like my education has helped me do better in my job, the job of staying at home with my children. It has definitely helped me with my autistic son, although sometimes I wish I had gotten a degree in occupational therapy. It's also helped me think about things in a different way - to realize that there are all kinds of people in the world, and not one thing is going to work for everyone. I wonder what Niya's education has taught her - certainly not that.
Also, I was reading Sundry (again) and she talked about some woman that writes comics about attachment parenting? Or something? The woman was all mad about receiving formula samples in the mail and also about letting a baby cry it out. There were lots of comments, mostly talking about how it's not really offensive to receive a sample in the mail. But there was one about breastfeeding in public and why do some WOMEN have to be so OBVIOUS about it? And I thought what the hell, commenter? I always get scared about comments like that because my sweet Joseph was a really rough nurser and constantly swatting the blanket away and popping off and then rolling away from me so I sometimes had to decide between covering up well or catching the baby and I chose (obviously) to catch the baby. So then I think when some asshole complains about women being so OBVIOUS about it are they talking about me? Or someone like me? Doesn't even matter who they're talking about? Isn't the point of coming a long way (baby) that we don't have to explain this shit, constantly, time after fucking time? Yes, I choose to stay home with my kids, yes, I breastfeed, yes I formula feed, yes, I work outside the home, yes my kid sometimes CRIES. Are you kidding me? Who are these people?
Also, on my other blog, some guy posted a super mean comment about how I was coddling Joseph because I didn't like the way he was roughly handled by some clerk at the playplace we went to. He said that his two year old daughter could take getting a hand stamp, what was the problem with Precious that he couldnt' take it? I mean - really? I have to assume he just thought he was a 'normal' three year old, and didn't read that he was autistic but man. Even if he did think that? It seems kind of rough on a regular three year old to.
So. Newsflash - people can be jerks.
Now look - I really don't care what some allegedly funny lady in LA thinks about me as a stay at home mother. BUT I do care about what some dumbbell thinks about ALL women who stay at home to take care of their kids instead of working outside the home and sending them to daycare (or "school" as some of my friends call it, the place where they send their six month old. Whatever). I mean, what did we go to school for? Why do well in school? GOD. I have many things I would like to say to this asshole:
1.) I went to school and got a Bachelor's degree and then I worked for several years. I also worked while I went to school. THEN I got my Master's degree while working full time and then I worked for some more years. THEN I got married, after having worked full time, post college, for like 14 years! THEN I got pregnant and had a baby and my husband and I decided that the best CHOICE for our family would be for me to stay home and take care of the child(ren). My husband, who also has a graduate degree, made about twice what I did, so he got to keep going to work. I assume I'll work again. I think I'll work as long as my friend James, who is a police officer and is going to retire after 25 years.
2.) I consider it to be a HUGE sacrifice to stay home with my kids. It's not the kind of sacrifice where I tell them all day, every day, what kind of sacrifice I'm making, and how hard I'm working, and how AWESOME I am for doing it, but it's the kind of sacrifice where I feel like maybe someday it will be worth it for me to stay home with them. I consider it the right thing to do, for my family.
3). I always stayed home, and it's worked out well for me since I have a son with autism. I have several friends, though, who worked at first and then because their kids were diagnosed with autism, they had to leave their job and start staying home with their kids because they weren't able to stay in the daycare that their parents had chosen for them. Would you ask THEM why THEY went to school? Why they BOTHERED to do well in school if all they were going to do is stay home? You ASSHOLE?
4.) I wonder if this woman considers herself to be such a contributing member of society that she can talk to a whole bunch of women like they're idiots? Is she a writer? A comedy writer? A writer of a sitcom? She writes the funny words that actors say? And this is some kind of major contribution to our world, one that should be compared favorably to raising children? Taking care of other human beings?
5.) I truly feel like my education has helped me do better in my job, the job of staying at home with my children. It has definitely helped me with my autistic son, although sometimes I wish I had gotten a degree in occupational therapy. It's also helped me think about things in a different way - to realize that there are all kinds of people in the world, and not one thing is going to work for everyone. I wonder what Niya's education has taught her - certainly not that.
Also, I was reading Sundry (again) and she talked about some woman that writes comics about attachment parenting? Or something? The woman was all mad about receiving formula samples in the mail and also about letting a baby cry it out. There were lots of comments, mostly talking about how it's not really offensive to receive a sample in the mail. But there was one about breastfeeding in public and why do some WOMEN have to be so OBVIOUS about it? And I thought what the hell, commenter? I always get scared about comments like that because my sweet Joseph was a really rough nurser and constantly swatting the blanket away and popping off and then rolling away from me so I sometimes had to decide between covering up well or catching the baby and I chose (obviously) to catch the baby. So then I think when some asshole complains about women being so OBVIOUS about it are they talking about me? Or someone like me? Doesn't even matter who they're talking about? Isn't the point of coming a long way (baby) that we don't have to explain this shit, constantly, time after fucking time? Yes, I choose to stay home with my kids, yes, I breastfeed, yes I formula feed, yes, I work outside the home, yes my kid sometimes CRIES. Are you kidding me? Who are these people?
Also, on my other blog, some guy posted a super mean comment about how I was coddling Joseph because I didn't like the way he was roughly handled by some clerk at the playplace we went to. He said that his two year old daughter could take getting a hand stamp, what was the problem with Precious that he couldnt' take it? I mean - really? I have to assume he just thought he was a 'normal' three year old, and didn't read that he was autistic but man. Even if he did think that? It seems kind of rough on a regular three year old to.
So. Newsflash - people can be jerks.
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