So it was just the weekend and Todd said to me on Saturday, "it's like every other day!" I didn't say anything but ... right! Welcome to my world, buddy, I wanted to say. It is worse with a newborn around though - it is so strange to be up in the night again. I have seen "Music & Lyrics" like a million times, now. I also have started to really like Craig Ferguson on the Late Late Show. Then the next morning, I can barely remember being up. I saw Tony Shaloub on the SAG awards last night and I thought "he's a Green Bay Packers fan". But then I thought how the hell do I know that? I saw him on the Late Late show, in a nursing fugue. What a weird thing.
My friend Emily came over this week, she has a baby 5 weeks older than Kathleen. I said, how is it natural to nurse this baby every two hours? How do women around the globe do it? And she said they sleep with their babies, is how. I know that is the answer for a lot of women but I can't do it. I'm so tired, I don't trust myself and I don't feel like I have any kind of 'mommy instinct' to stop me from rolling my big ass over onto that little baby.
I am hopefully going to hear this week from our early intervention thingy place. Joseph is 2.5 and still a terrible, terrible communicator. He knows a million words and numbers, letters, animals, colors, etc., but he is loathe to ever string two words together. It's so hard and frustrating to try and explain things to him, or to know what's on his mind, and it's only gotten worse since we brought Kathleen home. So they only do this testing until they're three and I figure I'll take advantage of it now, especially as Todd is still home. I am scared, though. I read this Late Talking Child book and the doctor that wrote it is kind of against early intervention. I have to try and make something work though. I don't think I can potty train a kid that won't talk to me, or acknowledge me in any way, and he is getting so big! He is a giant, especially compared to that new baby.
So that's what's up with me. I'm waiting for January to be over, waiting for Kathleen to be six weeks old, waiting to sleep a little better, waiting, waiting, waiting. It goes so fast! people say to me and I think when? When does it go fast? It feels slow, it feels like I'm walking through Jello.