Thursday, November 13, 2008


I was watching some show on Veteran's Day and they had all these military wives and mothers on and I was feeling like a big baby. Some of these women had five and six kids and their husbands were gone to Iraq or Afghanistan! I don't like it when Todd is home like FIVE minutes later than I expect him!

But then I was reading one of the thousands of blogs I read a week and it seemed like several were talking about how these women's husbands were just ... going away. Away to run a marathon, away to go hunting, away to just get away and I think there is no way I could stand that. I don't mean to be all - bitchy? mean? one upping? but I am no longer running in races, I am no longer going to the gym, for God's sake. My life has changed dramatically since I've had these children and shouldn't his?

I want my husband to enjoy his life, I do. I suppose I'm lucky because my husband doesn't want to go away on weekends to hunt or fish or run or whatever. But if he did it would be a major issue. I just feel like these years right now are about being home with these children. I am home all the time with them and it's a handful, of course. Todd told me the other day if I wanted to, I should go and do something this weekend. Since Kathleen isn't nursing anymore, hardly, he said I could be gone all day! I said thanks but if I had a whole day to myself I would want to sleep and where can I do that? A bed showroom? It simply isn't done! :)

I feel like a judgmental old biddy, getting mad on behalf of my friends and women who I don't even know about their husbands leaving them. Maybe it's fine. Maybe they think it's great. I just can't imagine it. But I'm trying.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, I could have written your post. I am one of those military wives whose husband has been gone for a deployment, and from somewhere in me I found the strength to get through.

But you gotta believe that when he came home, I used the "I had to do this for seven months while you were gone, so now it's your turn" line for a loooooong time after his return.

I'm really stingy with my husband's outside life, too. He bought a motorcycle a year ago and I hardly ever let him ride it, because I couldn't stand him being gone from our family on days he had off from work. I couldn't ride with him b/c I had two little kids and no babysitter. So he ended up letting it sit in the garage.

I'm completely okay with him working long days and missing dinner because of work obligations. But if he's gone too long hitting a bucket of balls at the driving range, I get pissed. I don't get time off to myself, and would have nowhere to go even if I did.

Poor us, huh?! :-)