Random

Some things I have been thinking about:

• weight loss. Yawn. I know. I am always thinking about it. I have been working out well the last few weeks (largely because it comforts Lucy to move around so I put her in the carrier and workout. Then I've worked out AND I have a sleeping/non screaming baby). I cannot seem to stop eating ice cream. Because my life is so HARD, see? That's why I have to eat the ice cream! Waah! I have recently made some sugar free snacks and am hoping I can start to do better on the feeling sorry for myself ice cream thing. I have a lot of clothes in my old size and I want to wear them.
  
• Lucy. Colicky! Three kids, all fussy! The hell? I have also decided to stop worrying about WHY ME and just wait out the next four weeks or so. I am better at dealing with them now, I try to concentrate on that. She is gorgeous though and I feel sweet about her because I really think she will be my last.
• NFP. We are going to try to not have more kids. We have serious reasons for not wanting to - we have no room, Joseph's future is ... murky, I'm old, etc., etc. I got a book on postpartum NFP so hopefully I'll be able to figure it out.
  
• Todd. I think marriage is so weird. I love him more than anything and appreciate him so much, especially when I think of who some of my friends are married to. But my GOD do I get mad at him!
  
• Sleep. I haven't had any. Twice I've had four hours in a row. In nine weeks. Ugh.
  
• Help. I have someone coming in this week for the next few weeks, until Joseph starts school. I am going crazy alone, I hope it doesn't make me crazier to have someone here.
• My Mom. I had to tell her that she can't come over here anymore to 'help' me if she is just going to question everything I do with my kids. It went ... okay. She is still tempted, I can tell, but it's better.
  
• Resentment. I resent having to mother my kids AND my mother AND my husband.
• My MIL. Asked Todd if them coming to visit added to our stress. Ha ha ha! He said everything adds to our stress, it's just LIKE that in a house with a newborn and also maybe she could give us a little more notice when she comes to visit. She loves to call on Saturday and say "should I come up today or tomorrow?" It's very annoying. So he told her, and I told HIM, I would have added, maybe don't bring sodas from whatever fast food place you stopped on the way up without offering to get us some thing? Or maybe EVER bring anything, even ONE TIME, to our house? Or maybe HELP us, sometime? Whatever, just some ideas I had. You dope.
• I guess that's it. Lucy is coming up on 10 weeks and I am hopeful things calm the hell down.