Monday, September 28, 2009

How We are Doing

My husband ... drives me crazy. And then I am driven crazier because I should not complain, he could not be nicer or more kind to me, to us. But my God. Because you are so nice and kind, does that mean you can leave the dirty diapers where you changed them? Walk by things that are on the floor and need to be picked up? STOMP around this house when everyone is sleeping? Snore? Does it? Maybe.

My son ... is doing very well in his new school. He is thriving, I daresay. Sometimes I remember that he has autism and I get super, SUPER panicked and sad but it's rare. Mostly he's just my boy, and we're doing what we need to do to get him where he needs to be. I told my husband the other day, I don't care if he lives with us forever, but if he could be a little quieter, that would be great. LORD he is noisy! It's like bad yodeling, and it's constant. Yesterday as I was driving him home from school, he bleated the whole time and I wanted to jump out of the moving car to get away from it. I think it's bad and then I talk to my husband on the phone when he is with him and I think HOLY CRAP how can anyone I talk to on the phone hear me through that braying? It sucks because I like to talk on the phone in the car, it's my only chance sometimes.

My first daughter is driving me mad. When Joseph was her age, he was nutty but he has autism and some of the things that he did can be explained by that. But she is nutty too! She is like a walking, climbing, RUNNING baby! She has no sense at all and she is MAD all of the time, practically. She wakes up way too early and is completely lunatic by 8:00 a.m. It's so depressing, I don't want to put her down for a nap, she's closer to 2 than 1 and I would like her to just take one nap a day but I have to put her down, if only to not be with her.

My baby girl is ... getting older and better. She is never fussy anymore unless she's tired. She still likes to be held, mostly, but I am trying to just put her down in different places. Our house is insane with the seats, exersaucer, baby gym, blankets, etc. I can't ever put her in anything on the floor because then Kathleen can get to her so it's crazy looking around here. She's sleeping okay, napping crappily, and being super cute to make up for all of it. She is my favorite right now.

My parents are ... headed to their retirement village for the winter this week. It is great to have them here because my mom babysits a lot but man. They're crazy. I always, always feel so set up by my mom. Todd took the two older ones to his mom's this Saturday and my mom asked me specifically how Joseph had done in the car and I said 'man is he noisy! I could hardly ever hear Todd, he was so noisy". I could hear her IMMEDIATELY pooh pooh it. She wants it to be that it's not so bad, that it's just like everyone else, but it's not. He has autism and one of his stims is that he brays like an animal, really loudly. It's NOT the same as a 'typical' four year old talking or asking questions, or even singing. I'm ... well, not fine with it, but I'm accepting of it and I wish she would be. I cannot stand it when people downplay what others are going through so that it makes THEM feel better. Last week, my mom and dad were here and she asked me how I liked my haircut. I said, oh it's fine, but it's too short, I have to dry it and straighten it or else I look like Ronald McDonald. IMMEDIATELY the two of them were on me, "Oh, it looks FINE! It's not CURLY! It looks GREAT!" I stuttered along - well, the thing is, it only looks like this because I had to spend so much time on it, when it was long, I could just put it up and ... you know what? Never mind. They are insane and probably just like everyone else's parents.

I am.... afraid I'm not going to make it some days. I've been not eating sweets during the week for several weeks now. I have broken my ice cream addiction, I think. I was working out well but I've stalled, since I had a cold last week and I don't sleep enough. I'm too tired for mean old Jillian Michaels half the time. Lucy is sleeping well but she is still up once in the night and that means I rarely get four hours in a row. I'm tense enough and well rested enough that it takes me a while to fall back to sleep after I'm done feeding her and God forbid Todd is snoring, then I'm really screwed. But it's better, it's better with Joseph in school, it's better that Lucy is getting older. Nothing aboutg Kathleen is better, really, but she's only getting older and that in itself will be good. I hope!

1 comment:

Swistle said...

The husband thing. SRSLY. Just because someone is a good person in many ways doesn't mean they are not an inconsiderate ass in other ways. Or so I think of it when I think about Paul.