Repitition

My friend Sue told me that it's like Groundhog Day when you have a newborn and she was right. I never know what day it is and who cares anyway. Things are getting better, I guess - she's five weeks now so we are getting ... somewhere. We're all getting older, I guess, anyway.

My new topic is Joseph. This week we had our early intervention people come to evaluate him and they think he needs speech, developmental and occupational therapy. He doesn't talk enough, he doesn't communicate hardly at all. We have a meeting scheduled in ten days to talk about how he's doing and what we should do to help him.

It scares me because I worry that he's autistic and then I think big deal. He's pretty smart, I think, he knows a lot of words and concepts. He is pretty affectionate and is very rambunctious and loves to run and play and climb things. We had to move the tv in the livingroom to the floor because he was climbing on it and standing on it! Insane! But he's him and I wouldn't want him to be any different.

My mother, however, is driving me *insane* on the subject. She is a crazy person anyways, loves politics, Rush Limbaugh, loves to argue and point her finger at you when she's talking, you know the type I'm sure. Her new thing is that Joseph has autism and she read Jenny McCarty's book on how HER kid has autism and she just changed his diet and poof! he's better and Joseph watches too much tv and maybe that gave him autism but really it's probably the immunizations and there will not be enough money in the WORLD to settle the lawsuits that will come if they ever prove that immunizations and autism are related and God will not be mocked by using aborted fetuses in immunizations and blah blah blah I'm going to kill myself if she keeps sending me emails about this bullshit, which is what I told her.

The thing is - we are seeking therapy and help for Joseph. I want him to be happy and live in the world and get along and ... just be him, you know? So he seems to be having some trouble with this and we're getting him help. His doctor, who I love, says that he is a good smart boy and I should just keep talking to him but I want to take advantage of this program while I can (they only do it til they're 3) and it's (practically) free. I want to be able to talk to him more and I want him to talk to me, and I know it will happen some day but I am ready. I'm bored and lonely, home with two children that rarely speak to me.

And if he's autistic, then fine. We'll do what we can to help him navigate the world. But I just want to know what I can do. It makes me cry and cry to think about people who have children that are ill and can't do anything about it. These children drive me insane on a daily basis but when I think about anything happening to them, I just ... it's too much.

We are having Kathleen baptized a week from Sunday. It's going to be a quiet affair, as my parents are still out of town. My in laws are coming and my brother's family and my sister. So I will have to whip up a small party. Todd invited my inlaws, which I know seems normal but my parents aren't coming so I was hoping for a no-parents day.

In other news, I made a blueberry cobbler today, from the Pioneer Woman's site. I was looking at her recipe for lasagna and I couldn't believe the comments! People are freaking crazy!