Random, some more

• My mother and I are fighting. Ugh, it's the dumbest thing - I asked her if she would like to come and stay with me while Todd goes on a long weekend trip. She is in her winter, snow bird home, and I said we'd fly her up here if she wanted to come. I only did it because before she left after Christmas, she went on and On and ON about how much she'd miss me and the kids, and how she wished she could be in two places at once, etc., etc. So she said sure, and then immediately started to say why she couldn't come. She said she was going to drive - for two days to stay here for three days - which seemed screwy. She told me everyone she's ever known has gotten sick after flying. Finally, I emailed her and said FORGET IT, my sister would come and stay and help me out (there are really only a few times a day when it would help to have someone here, as Joseph is kind of stringent about his schedule). She wrote back and told me that the UNDERWEAR bomber was the problem, had I not heard about him? Sheesh. ANYWAY, I asked her WHY did you say you'd do it if you didn't want to and she told me that she likes to be helpful. Um. NOT helpful. Anyways. It's disappointing but I honestly feel like I'd rather know. Mother OFF babysitting list. :)
  
• Kathleen turned two. It feels like she should be 20 or 30 by now. She is so unbelievably relentless. I am hoping as she gets older it will get better, OR maybe I will lose my hearing and it will stop bothering me.
  
• Lucy is getting so big and sitting up and starting to do some pat a cake, which is fun. I wish she babbled more. She seems quiet and of course I am nervous because of Joseph, I'm worried she'll have autism too and if she does I want to get started helping her. This is crazy thinking, I'm aware. She is only eight months old and she's pretty engaged and I'm sure she's fine but man. I am up in the night a lot and I have lots of time to worry.
  
• Joseph is ... oh, he is mostly noisy! The noises that come out of that child! Again, deafness seems not so bad to me right now. I am taking one day at a time with Joseph. He is so sweet and gorgeous and I feel my heart breaking every day when I look at him. I know he'll be all right but ... again with the late night worry.
  
• I am up in the night because that 8 month old baby is far, far, from sleeping all night. She is up usually twice and ... it's wearing. I'm worn out.
  
• As soon as she is weaned, I am going to go away for the weekend, with an old friend of mine who also has three kids. I can't wait and I am also worried. I'm worried the kids will be mad, mostly Lucy, but I have never spent a night away from Kathleen either. Todd and I are planning on going away together in the summer, just for a weekend, so I hope they get used to us being gone separately first.
  
• I talked to a friend of mine about Kathleen starting at a co-op preschool ... I guess next year? When she is three? I don't know when typical kids go to preschool. I love the idea of it. I just don't know if I can wait a year.
  
• Todd and I are fine. He is so good in so many ways, mostly I try to ignore/subtly correct the ways that bug me. Today, it's good so I'll take it.
  
• I have been working out a lot, I'm almost done with the couch to five K. I am still as fat as butter though. I just can't eat as little as I should. I'm hungry. And also? I like ice cream when I'm nursing. But I'm working on it. I wish it were easier but it's NOT.